I’m far too pretentious for a boring old coffee do you have something that sounds exotic and impossible to spell on your menu, person

Thanks to Starbucks and other “fancy” coffee chains that charge $6 for a coffee with steamed milk everyone assumes anywhere that sells coffee makes such drinks. Well not everywhere does. Sometimes cappuccino is made using powder and that cold Frappuccino-like drink is nothing more than a sweet java syrup mixed with a bucket of water.

That’s why it’s no surprise you’ll encounter Fancy Pants Mochafrappresso person. They ask for specialty drinks everyday as if asking yesterday sparked a corporate idea that people may want to spend $6 every morning for something that looks, tastes and smells like the normal stuff but bears the description “A robust nutty flavour straight out of Africa, picked by silver backed gorilla’s, fair trade blend.” when they can get the same thing minus the gorilla’s for $1.40.

You may suggest adding a flavour shot to spice up their boring old coffee but no you don’t have the means to steam milk, which “attracted” you to the job and you don’t have non-fat skim vanilla sugarless soy almond milk. You may even want to recommend that they go buy a carton for themselves and add it to a black coffee and hey, you’ll even throw in a stir stick!




*Illustrations by Ally Mac @ http://blogginawkward.blogspot.com/