I'm Really Not Sure You Should Be Driving

Everyone has encountered this person at some point or another… you may even be this person. More often than not they ask you to repeat the store greeting. Probably because they’ve forgotten where they are and why they’ve arrived there.

They’ll jump back into reality albeit rather slowly with a raspy “Riiight!”  proceed with their order which may go something like this,

“I’ll have a {deep breath} powdered straaaaaawberry donut {deep breath} and a {deep breath} smaaaall coffee with a {deep breath} straaawwww.”

And before you have a chance to ask if that’s all (and you know it I because they come through every week on the same day at the same time and order the same thing every time), they drive… crawl… inch forward. By the time they reach the window you’ve had to make a new coffee because the other one has turned glacial. They ever so slowly roll down their window, the old fashioned way because their car is as old as them if not older and you stand, coffee, donut and straw ready for distribution, with a smile on your face that starts to etch creases into your skin until you look just like the prune in the car.

They reach out of their window so slowly you begin to wonder if something dramatic is about to happen and with a trembling hand they release a fist full of rusty coins. Naturally a few of them tumble to the ground. “Ooooh {deep breath} deeeaarrr!” they’ll say smiling in that very cute old person way.  (By now you’ll have figured out that, the I’m not sure you should be driving person, is quite elderly and if you hadn’t there’s a good chance that you will become this person… which means you’ll reach a remarkable age so… congrats I guess!).

One by one you’ll hand out the order, which they latch onto with their tendons audibly creaking and for a minute you hold your breath as that shaky hand directs the scalding hot beverage to the takeaway tray that serves as the car’s cup holder. When the mission has been accomplished you hand out the donut and straw.

When all the items are safely inside the vehicle this person will have to unsheath the straw, fumble with the coffee lid and take a sip before they step… press… apply ¼ of the proper amount of pressure to the gas pedal and inch away from the building narrowly missing a few parked cars.

*Illustrations by Ally Mac @ http://blogginawkward.blogspot.com/