The Love of Your Life

Anyone that has ever worked in customer service has experienced this shaky hands, sweaty palms and tongue-tied phenomenon, when a certain customer comes in. You could be the best at your job but this certain being turns you into a full-fledged rookie with half a brain.

                                                 

You know what time they come in because it’s your new favourite time of the day. You know their order because it’s practically the same as yours, which has to be some kind of sign right! You’ve even named them so your coworkers can alert you if they come in unexpectedly. Of course this person is incredibly kind which makes them even more attractive.

You start playing the background story game with your coworkers because well why not!

“Well he grew up on a farm which grounded him and encouraged him to study hard. He graduated from a top university at the top of his class. He listens to classic rock but his guilty pleasure is Nickelback. His mother is a beloved teacher and his father is a paediatrician working to cure leukemia. He has a younger sister that he is like a second father to. He wants 2 kids and as many animals as possible and he’s waiting for the perfect time to ask me to marry him.”

                                      

Years later when you’ve moved on and your life looks dramatically different you’ll look back and laugh at how ridiculous you were… then secretly hate the person the Love of Your Life customer is probably with!

There Are Some Who Just Don't Get It!

Life is frustrating. There are a lot of things out there you’d love to change but can’t because you simply don’t have the power! Well guess what neither does that 15-year-old trainee someone’s yelling at. 

Some days you have to question a person’s intelligence when they’re screaming at someone wearing a name tag that clearly does not say manager, supervisor or CEO. People can yell and scream all they want but all they’ll get out of it is maybe some tears and a reputation for being a shithead.

Whispers will fill the air as you and your coworkers alert each other to the shithead’s presence and an epic battle will ensue over who gets to serve them.

These people like to complain about everything. The coffee isn’t full enough, the coffee is too full and it spilled on them, why don’t you put fill to lines on the cups? The coffee’s too hot why don’t you automatically double cup even though you’re not allowed to do that unless asked to. Why are you charging for a large tea even though the customer asked for a medium tea in a large cup? Why do you keep raising prices? Why do you? Why do you? Why do YOU? Well shithead when I get the decision-making salary from the company I’ll let you know!

Illustrations by Ally Mac @ http://blogginawkward.blogspot.com/

The Seniors Bus

It’s no secret that senior citizens like bus tours and good for them for still being interested in doing stuff! The thing is people of a certain age tend to like the same things. 

Kids go for chocolate and things covered in sugar.

Adults try and be healthy opting for things with fruit and vegetables and senior citizens like bran and raisins, combine them and you’ve got a super popular product that will fly off the shelf when a bus of 35 75-year-olds pulls in.

When you see a bus drive in you sound the alarm to alert the troops it’s all hands on deck time. The seniors will slowly make their way inside and line up in front of the cash register closest to the door. Then they’ll take their turn ordering one small coffee and a raisin bran muffin.

Here’s the problem with 35 people ordering the same kind of muffin at the same time… you’ve only got about 8 raisin bran muffins baked at that moment. While most sigh and order an oatmeal raisin cookie instead, a few will grumble about how ridiculous it is that there aren’t enough muffins and that back in their day they could always get a raisin bran muffin. You manage to hold back from joking, that “Sure they could but they’d have to walk 10 miles through 4 feet of snow to get to one!” and instead you smile and sympathetically offer them an oatmeal raisin cookie, which of course they take.

 Illustrations by Ally Mac @ http://blogginawkward.blogspot.com/

Why Name Tags Suck!

Perhaps one of the worst parts about working in customer service is that you will probably have to wear a nametag. This allows perfect strangers to assume in their own creepy way that they know you, which they don’t. It would be different if people were named in a way that informed something to the world about them. For example… Likes Music Smith or Swims Frequently Kim. You would be able to conclude that Likes Music Smith likes music and Swims Frequently Kim probably swims a lot. But our names say nothing about our personalities or who we are so it’s disturbing when people throw your name in somewhere it doesn’t need to be. There is no need for a stranger to say, thank-you Megan, how are you Megan, hi Megan etc. You’re the only one serving them it’s painfully obvious they’re speaking to you. There is just no reason to use the name, it’s not like if they said hi you’d be thinking, “Who the hell is he talking to?”

Ok so it’s not so bad once in a while and only when it is used once with a normal tone and no creepy face or hand gestures. But when someone uses your name so frequently that it starts making you physically ill you’ve got yourself a problem.



“How are you today Megan?”


“Good and you?”

“Oh Megan, I’m just great! So Megan today I’d like a large coffee and Megan could you stick a couple of sugars in there for me!”

“No problem.”

“Thanks Megan! How much do I owe you Megan?”

“$1.40”

“Here you go Megan! Megan you have a great day! See you tomorrow Megan!”

Fuck off creep bag.

It’s the “See you tomorrow Megan!” that should worry you most. They are implying that they’ll be back tomorrow Megan! Megan aren’t you excited? Oh Megan you should be!

*Illustrations by Ally Mac @ http://blogginawkward.blogspot.com/

I'm Really Not Sure You Should Be Driving

Everyone has encountered this person at some point or another… you may even be this person. More often than not they ask you to repeat the store greeting. Probably because they’ve forgotten where they are and why they’ve arrived there.

They’ll jump back into reality albeit rather slowly with a raspy “Riiight!”  proceed with their order which may go something like this,

“I’ll have a {deep breath} powdered straaaaaawberry donut {deep breath} and a {deep breath} smaaaall coffee with a {deep breath} straaawwww.”

And before you have a chance to ask if that’s all (and you know it I because they come through every week on the same day at the same time and order the same thing every time), they drive… crawl… inch forward. By the time they reach the window you’ve had to make a new coffee because the other one has turned glacial. They ever so slowly roll down their window, the old fashioned way because their car is as old as them if not older and you stand, coffee, donut and straw ready for distribution, with a smile on your face that starts to etch creases into your skin until you look just like the prune in the car.

They reach out of their window so slowly you begin to wonder if something dramatic is about to happen and with a trembling hand they release a fist full of rusty coins. Naturally a few of them tumble to the ground. “Ooooh {deep breath} deeeaarrr!” they’ll say smiling in that very cute old person way.  (By now you’ll have figured out that, the I’m not sure you should be driving person, is quite elderly and if you hadn’t there’s a good chance that you will become this person… which means you’ll reach a remarkable age so… congrats I guess!).

One by one you’ll hand out the order, which they latch onto with their tendons audibly creaking and for a minute you hold your breath as that shaky hand directs the scalding hot beverage to the takeaway tray that serves as the car’s cup holder. When the mission has been accomplished you hand out the donut and straw.

When all the items are safely inside the vehicle this person will have to unsheath the straw, fumble with the coffee lid and take a sip before they step… press… apply ¼ of the proper amount of pressure to the gas pedal and inch away from the building narrowly missing a few parked cars.

*Illustrations by Ally Mac @ http://blogginawkward.blogspot.com/

Inappropriately Dressed Person

No shirt, no shoes, no service. 


This rule only applies to the interior of a business. You can’t really dictate what people do in the confines of their own car. Let’s be honest, it would be so nice if this rule could be applied to anyone on the property no matter if they are in their own vehicle! Although then this customer wouldn’t exist and despite the awkwardness at the time of the situation, you won’t have the opportunity to look back on it and laugh years later.

Think of all the inappropriate ways to dress or not dress and you’ll see it in a drive-thru. 


Shirtless guy who should not be shirtless … ever. 

Who needs pants I’ve got a towel, man. 

Oops where did my skirt go, lady. 

I don’t need pants I’ve got a tissue box guy. 

I’m wearing a shirt so low cut it’s a wonder why I even bothered putting one on, woman. 

You’ll see them all and so many more and the best part is unless they’re driving a truck or an SUV which they never are you practically get a birds eye view of the entire situation.

*Illustrations by Ally Mac @http://blogginawkward.blogspot.com/